“Yes, and” - A Small Mindset Shift with a Huge Impact

If you’ve ever watched small children play, you’ve seen how naturally they build on one another’s ideas:

“Let’s play mummy and child. I’ll be the mum!”
“Yes, and I’ll be the child, I just broke my foot!”

When it’s role play at its best, it’s pure magic: no hesitation, no judgment. Just connection co-creation in flow.

Now picture a meeting room: a bold idea is shared, silence follows, and then:

“Yes, but we tried that before.”
“No, that’s too risky. Too expensive. Too unrealistic…”.

Instantly the energy drops, distance grows, ideas shrink and the problem grows bigger and bigger - insurmountable even? That’s resistance: all rejection and judgement, no connection, no (co-)creation.

Somewhere between childhood play and meeting rooms, we unlearn the natural rules of co-creation. We trade exploration for efficiency, curiosity for correctness, and connection for control.

After years of working with teams on innovation and complex problem solving, I’ve witnessed something else too:
Whenever a group shifts into the “Yes, and” mode, the energy rises instantly. Ideas multiply. The solution gets closer. People light up. They feel seen, safe, and part of something bigger.

That moment - when resistance turns into responsiveness - is what I love most about this work. A surprisingly small shift, yet an enormous impact on communication, collaboration, creativity and confidence.

Riding the Waves of Uncertainty

When everything around us changes faster than we can plan, evolves beyond what we can predict and visibility is limited, our instinct is to cling to what we know. Even when it keeps us stuck, that illusion of control can feel safer than uncertainty.

A “Yes, and” mindset, which mirrors how the brain adapts best - through acceptance, flexibility, collaboration, and iterative exploration.

What “Yes, and” Is (and Isn’t)

Rooted in improv theater, “Yes, and” is more than a communication trick.
It’s a cognitive and social principle that shapes how we think, connect, and create.

“Yes” - acknowledges reality as it is.
“And” - expands what could be.

Together they form the foundation of collaboration, innovation, and growth - in business, relationships, parenting and personal change.

It’s not about saying yes to everything.
It is about acceptance. In Transformational Change Theory, real change begins seeing reality clearly before responding creatively.
In relationships, it means deep listening and shared meaning-making.
In customer work, it means seeking ways to make something work instead of proving why it can’t.

It’s the intention to build, not block.

A “Yes, and” mindset transforms:

Correction —> Connection
Resistance —> Response
Control —> Collaboration
Stuckness —> Progress

Where “Yes, And” Matters - and How It Works

For Individuals: Adaptability, Resilience & Well-Being

In our fast changing environment, our ability to adapt depends less on control - and more on flexibility.

A “Yes, and” mindset strengthens both psychological flexibility (how we respond to discomfort) and cognitive flexibility (how we generate alternative solutions) - two capacities closely linked to resilience and well-being.

“Yes” reduces threat.

Accepting reality (rather than resisting it) lowers activity in brain regions involved in social and physical threat (amygdala, anterior cingulate), creating emotional safety and openness (Lieberman, 2013; Eisenberger & Cole, 2012).

This emotional safety opens the door to psychological flexibility - responding based on values rather than fear (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).

“And” activates imagination and problem-solving.

It engages the brain’s associative and creative networks - the same networks that light up during improvisation and spontaneous co-creation. Self-monitoring regions (such as the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex) quiet down, while idea-generation networks increase in activity (Limb & Braun, 2008; Beaty et al., 2018).

That’s cognitive flexibility in action - the mental agility to shift perspectives, reframe problems, and generate new solutions when old patterns no longer work (Dajani & Uddin, 2015).

Research confirms that even short improvisation-based trainings - built on “Yes, and”- reduce anxiety, increase positive mood, and improve tolerance for uncertainty (Felsman, 2019).

Together, these capacities help us stay calm, think flexibly, and act constructively amid volatility - the psychological core of thriving under uncertainty.

In Couples & Friendships: Trust, Connection and Collaboration

Weather romantic or platonic - “Yes, and” shifts conversation from “who is right?” to “what can we create together?”.

“Yes” validates the other person.

Feeling recognized reduces stress and increases empathy (Eisenberger & Cole, 2012). That’s why validation - the simple “Yes, I hear you” - is one of the strongest predictors of emotional safety (Gottman Institute, 2015).

“And” deepens engagement.

It activates the brain’s reward and bonding systems (dopamine and oxytocin), increasing trust, curiosity, and collaboration (Lieberman, 2013; Eisenberger & Cole, 2012). It moves interactions forward, creating shared reality and expanding what’s possible together.

Over time, “Yes, and” becomes a habit of connection. Especially in uncertainty, it helps people adapt together rather than drift apart.

In Parenting: Curiosity, Connection and Cooperative Problem Solving

“Yes, and” models the mindset children need to thrive in a complex world.

“Yes” validates their ideas.

It shows children their ideas are seen and respected. This emotional attunement strengthens secure attachment and sense of agency (Siegel & Bryson, 2011). When children feel validated, they collaborate more, explore more, and regulate emotions more effectively (Lillard et al., 2013).

“And” turns imagination into collaboration.

Parenting through “Yes, and” is not permissive - it is collaborative authority:
“Yes, you want to stay up, and we need rest for tomorrow. Let’s read one book in bed.”

It encourages negotiation and flexible problem-solving instead of rigid rule-following – a strong predictor of adaptability than compliance.

We don’t prepare children by giving them certainty - but by helping them respond with curiosity and confidence when certainty disappears.

In Teams & Organizations: Psychological Safety, Collective Intelligence and Innovation

In environments defined by uncertainty, organizations don’t thrive by being right - but by learning, adapting, and innovating faster than the world around them.
Companies like Netflix, Amazon, and Spotify succeed not by being right more often, but by learning faster through continuous experimentation (Eisenhardt & Tabrizi, 1995).

To do this, teams need collective intelligence: combining ideas instead of protecting individual ones. ‘

“Yes” builds psychological safety.

It signals that contributions will be taken seriously and built upon, which encourages speaking up and risk taking. Empirical research shows that psychological safety is the strongest predictor of high-performing, innovative teams (Edmondson, 1999).

“And” turns safety into progress:

Building before judging produces more original and viable solutions (Paulus & Brown, 2003). It turns ideas from competing to combining, which encourages experimentation.

Organizations like IDEO and Pixar have embedded this principle into their creative DNA:

• IDEO’s design thinking process relies on empathy and Ideation and co-creation – Yes and as the communication and thinking habit

• Pixar’s famous “plussing” culture uses the same logic: every critique must add something(“I like that, and what if we…?”).

Neuroscience explains how this works:
“Yes” reduces social threat and “And” activates reward and associative networks, increasing motivation, insight, and idea linkage. (Eisenberger et al., 2007).

It rewires group dynamics at the emotional, cognitive, and neural level. Together, they unlock collective intelligence.

How to Practice It

• In teams:

  Begin meetings with a short 3 min “Yes, and” warm-up. Every response must begin with “Yes, and…” - no evaluation allowed. Watch the energy shift.
  Keep this rule especially in the divergent ideation phase when problem solving.

• In daily life:

  Notice your “Yes, but” moments - pause and reframe them. Notice how your body responds and how your possible solutions unfold.

• In parenting:

  Try a “Yes-Day” or afternoon. Follow your child’s lead with directing only building upon their lead. Stay open and curious and observe how connection, cooperation and joy unfold.

• In relationships:

  Try in small stakes situations, like making weekend plans:
  Listen fully first – active listening – no judgement, no sympathy. Validate the emotions and needs. Then add towards a common goal.

• For a deeper shift:

  Join an improv workshop. It’s not theater - it’s neural training for adaptability and connection.

Riding the Waves of Transformation

In childhood play, in team rooms, and in our closest relationships, the same magic unfolds when we reactivate our “Yes, and” mindset: people connect, ideas grow, energy rises, and complexity becomes something we can navigate together.

It’s a small shift with profound impact.

And in a world defined by uncertainty, that might just be one of our most important mindset for moving forward.

Yes, and…